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Lotte Lane

Jessography

 

I am an outgoing and ridiculously positive person, who has a history of mental health complaints.

I have been depressed for most of my adult life but I have SO much hope for the future.

I love my life.

Lotte Lane

Check out her awesome site: www.lottelane.com

 

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Marie Gebhard

 

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Dear Agoraphobic sufferer of 2013:

As I sit, in 2013 here desperate for relief, desperate to live again, and fearing deep down I shall never recover, I thought of you. I hope so much that the state and society now understand Agoraphobia. I hope that science has moved on and found the cause of this crippling illness, and thus discovered a cure for it. I hope you feel the sun on your face and the sand beneath your feet. I hope you see your children run through tall grass, and spend your weekends punting on rivers. I hope that you are not blamed for your illness as we are. Doctors treat us with contempt, begrudgingly refer us to therapy, then because we cannot get to therapy they then wash their hands of us, throw us on the scrap heap, and leave us to rot. Due to this neglect, our conditions worsen; we become afraid of fear itself. Those fortunate enough to afford private health care stand a chance, but those reliant on the state do not. Nobody is going to help us; we are left to help ourselves. We fight everyday. We spend so long researching our conditions, the causes and the cure’s. We invest all our hope and energy into practicing ‘the tools’. Everyday we push ourselves harder and harder, facing our fear’s to no avail. It is like riding an exercise bike. We invest all our energy but get no where. Many of us become depressed, feeling alone; abandoned, helpless and hopeless suicide is often considered. I so hope this is not what you experience.
To make matters worse, our conditions are not understood. Everyone assumes it is about going outside or crowds. We have tried tried to explain that it is the fear of leaving a safe zone or person, and just because we can walk to the corner of our streets does not mean we can get to the next street. It’s like living in an invisible prison where people are blaming you for not being able to get out because they cannot see it. Many people think that when we are afraid, it is similar to their exam nerves, or first day at work nerves. Of course this is absurd. Who would stop living due to a trivial thing like that? If only people understood it is a feeling of terror, incomparable to anything other than a life or death situation. If only people understood it is not about the emotion of fear, but the physical reactions of fear, such as defecating, passing out, vomiting, trembling, disassociating, etc. The amount of times we have heard people saying ‘we all feel afraid sometimes, but you just have to carry on’ I would love to see them trying to carry on when they cannot see where they are going, cannot breathe, unable to walk due to the shaking and defecating themselves! I do hope you are still not enduring such symptoms or ignorance in 2013.

Recently, things have become much worse for us. We have been labelled skivers. People assume we are lazy and scroungers. We have become hated by the public, and judged as fakers by the welfare system. I have even heard such ignorance as people suggesting that if they take the money off agoraphobics, then agoraphobics will soon find a way to work. The insanity of such statements! I am crippled with arthritis and spinal deformities, yet I cannot get to the hospital for my own medical treatment due to my agoraphobia, if agoraphobics have to neglect their physical ailments due to their mental health how will a loss of money help? Sadly, it is clear people do not care. We have become the only prejudice socially acceptable. I am lucky, I am married and my husband works, I am not on any of these welfare benefits, so I know I will not starve and freeze to death, but those alone will.

It beggars belief that in 2013 people still think as they did in the dark ages. Mental health is not a choice. It is unbearable. Medically neglected, financially neglected and socially ostracised being a sufferer of agoraphobia today is cruel. I pray for the future generations of this illness, especially you, I pray you can do all those things we wanted to do, but were never able to. Please live your lives to the fullest, appreciate every moment you are living not just existing. Do it for us, ‘seize the day’.

Sincerely,
Marie Gebhard
CEO Time to Escape

 

Teresa Mullen

A few years ago the sheriff of our county put a gun to my head had my picked up and slammed to the floor, again put his gun to my head and then ordered me tasered. He had to order the deputy 3 times before I was finally tasered. By this time I was sitting up with my hands and feet straight out in front of me…easily handcuffed if that’s what the 4 or 5 of them needed to do. Screaming and crying no no no no. On the 2nd order the deputy shot it off to the side of my feet. Apparently that was not good enough for the narcissistic sheriff. He yelled very loudly…”I SAID TASE HER!!!” I know it hit my thigh….I can’t see it…I can’t feel it…I don’t remember to this day how I got handcuffed and to the kitchen.

I had a scar until April 28th,2013. I got a tattoo to cover it up…picture #2….Picture #1 is Sgt brown and myself. Sgt brown pulled me over almost a yr ago for doing 69mph in a 50. He let me go with a warning!! I stopped by the sheriff’s station to thank him. We chatted for 30 mins.

**The sheriff that abused his authority with me had been charged with 10 felonies and the state had removed him of his duties (nothing to do with me)**

He asked what coping skills I used and how my recovery was going and could I please not compare him to Ex-sheriff Dean Kimpel? Haha needless to say, he helped restore my faith in the fact that not all law enforcement are going to hurt me. Well, as a result of the tasering I had charges and was put on probation. It was horrible!!

I had never been in trouble in my life and here I was 49 yrs old and I was so scared and I was shaking and had just been tasered and the Dr just put me on these strange meds to help with this thing called PTSD and I had to be clear headed for court so I couldn’t take the meds, so I was a shaking mess and my attorney was yelling at me…”You have to get this under control or the judge is gonna have you locked up and have you deemed unfit, and you will stay in that hospital until you can be deemed fit to come before him.” The judge questioned me and my attorney the entire time…”Do you understand what is happening here? Does she understand what is happening here?” He out me on probation for 2 years!!

SERIOUSLY?!?!? So on my 1 yr anniversary of being OFF probation, I went to see Sgt Brown and we took this picture together to celebrate how far I have come in my recovery!! My name is Teresa Mullen…I have PTSD, BPD, Disassociation, Agoraphobia, Depression and anxiety.

The help I have received that made such a difference in my life was DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Two amazing therapies that have changed my life!! Thanx again and I truly hope this helps even just one person see that there is hope and not to give up.

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Christina

Hi, I would like to send you a photo I took this afternoon whilst out with my family.

This week I ended up going to hospital and being started on lithium. I have bipolar disorder and it snook up on me this week sending me back to square one. I’ve wanted to post a photo for a while but couldn’t find something that fit.

This week I have gone from rock bottom to being able to go out for dinner with my husband and children today. I also DJ-ed a charity event yesterday evening, days after being unable to get out of bed.

It’s easy to see the suicide attempts, the depression, the mania, the wreckless behaviour……the thing that’s not easy is seeing how amazing we are.

Sometimes it takes a mirror in the restaurant bathroom to remind us of that! I saw this and instantly wanted to post it!

Thanks for your time and your inspiration xxx

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